At least…

Statements that start with “ at least”, generally are not appropriate or helpful.

“At least it was early”

“At least you know you can get pregnant”

“At least you can try again”

“At least” minimizes human experiences. It’s another way of saying “it could be worse”. Someone going through infertility and loss doesn’t need to know that it could be worse. We know it could be better. We know that it isn’t fair. And we know “at least” statements are not helpful.

What to say to someone struggling with infertility, loss, or literally any other grief filled human experience:

-“I’m so sorry that this happened to you”

-“I’m sorry for your loss”

-“I’m sorry that you have been going through this”

-“it’s not fair”

-“I’m here to listen”

-“do you want to talk about it?”

Or, nothing at all.

Let’s stop minimizing the experiences of others with “at least” statements. We are allowed to grieve the things that happened to us. We don’t have to be grateful for the things that didn’t. We don’t have to see the silver lining in “at least”.