Why wouldn’t you just adopt?

It is not the responsibility of the infertile to adopt all of the children needing homes. Believe it or not, anyone can go through the process to adopt. But it’s another responsibility that it is constantly put onto those struggling to grow their families. If we want children so badly, why don’t we just adopt?

I’ve lost track of the amount of times this has come up. And yes we have thought about it. But it’s much more complicated than most would think. It’s also an expensive process. There is also no guarantee that you will ever be matched with an expecting birth mother. Just like IVF, adoption is no guarantee.

I have so much respect for couples who choose adoption. It can be such a beautiful way to grow your family. But for a multitude of reasons - it’s just not for everyone.

Some people who have never walked through infertility and loss sure have a lot of recommendations to make, opinions to share, and comments about your childfree life. And similar to the “at least” statements, there’s really no part of this journey that requires “just”. “Just” sounds like a simple solution to something very complex. “Just” can also be very insensitive.

Why don’t you just adopt? Why don’t you just do IVF? Have you tried just relaxing ? I have a friend who just stopped trying and it happened. You just need to get drunk! My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant! You’re lucky you can just sleep in. I wish I could just travel like you! Oh, just take my kids! Maybe you just aren’t meant to be a mom. It just wasn’t meant to be.

Why don’t YOU just shut the f*** up? LOLL

(Did I just say that?)

You just don’t get it…